What's on my mind today..!!

I started reading as a casual reader, more so driven by the perception of reading rather than actually being driven by the need to read. I started with fiction, gradually drifted to non-fiction but never really had a sense of direction about what to read and hence largely dependent on reviews from co-readers to arrive at my next book. However I have lately started thinking about reading for understanding the world better, for creating my mental models of decision making, to enable choices and to understand concepts I think are far more complex than I can process. And in the process, make effort to remember what I read and also hone my abysmal writing skills.  Hence this is an introductory post of my first book review, to summarize my learning and understanding of the last book I read - Made in America by Sam Walton. Deriving inspiration from an article I read on Farnam Street , I will structure my reviews around the following questions and continue improvising as I go along. ...

I mostly resort to poetry for expression...attempting prose this time... Speaking to my five years younger self... You are fresh out of college with a lot of education, many degrees, some disposable money in your hands and a whole gamut of options of what you can do and who you can become. The most important thing to know is that there is still a whole lot of you left to become who you want to become. It might appear that you have already shaped yourself and have become who you could (may be not who you should) and that the mold has already taken form. But this I want to tell you is a lie. This is the time you will become who you will be for the rest of your long life.  It will be easy to get accustomed to comfort and laziness. It will be natural to adopt the ways of people around you. It will be easy to drift in accepting who you are. But what comes easy is not what's worth having. Accept the fact that if you get your self worth from hard work, thought and labor, then...

आज बहुत वक़्त बाद जब वक़्त मिला है तो ये आवाज़ आई की काश वक़्त ना होता....  काश वक्त ना होता  ये रूह जला देने वाले सुलगते ख़यालो को  और गरमी देने का...  काश वक्त ना होता।   इन नासूर जैसे ज़ख्मो को  और गहरा करने का... काश वक्त ना होता।   जो मेरी रौशनी निगल जाए  ऐसे अँधेरे को और कालिक देने का...   काश वक्त ना होता।   ये मायूसी जो आंसू बन के बहती है  उस मायूसी को और नमी देने का... काश वक्त ना होता।   जिन सवालो की आंधी में उड़ रही हूँ  उस आंधी को और हवा देने का...  काश वक्त ना होता। ज़िंदगी की कश्मकश में उलझते धागो को  और उलझाने का... काश वक्त ना होता। ये स्याही जो इन विचारो को आकार देती है  इस स्याही को कलम देने का...  काश वक्त ना होता। काश वक...

Some ordinary moments jolt us from inside and leave lessons behind. One such lesson is here... On the lunch table, I was feeling jittery, irritated and trapped, Angry yet dull, my energy was sapped I wondered why, time was not passing by It then dawned on me, I had caused the melancholy You showed off, acted all too wise Your unsolicited judgement, I despise I let myself argue, to beat your pride The ripples created, crushed me inside I damaged myself more than you, because I now realize, I became like you I must learn the art, to avoid and ignore Detach from the pompous, preserve my core

The magic and misery that these books are...they consume you, churn you, reform you and make you a different person. One of such books is ‘When breath becomes Air’ by the late Dr. Paul Kalanithi. Books become special and precious when you can associate with them, when they bring alive your story or the story of a loved one. In the initial days, for me, it was a journey of courage to pick up this book and take a plunge into the corridors of hospitals and cases of brain tumors. Every disease is sacred, every case an emotion and every death a scar. I never imagined myself reading a book dealing with brain diseases and hospitals after my abysmal performance post watching movies and videos of Parkinson’s and Alzheimer’s patients. This was a whole new escalation. It was brain tumors and cancers. On each page, this book evokes different emotions - sometimes it made me weak and want to collapse and cry sometimes determined to live a life of meaning. I gathered courage, each page wa...

Dear Chennai, As we part ways I wish to tell you that you are special to me. I know people from my part of the world won't understand, but its between you and me and the bond we share...  All I want to say to you is... As I landed here a year back, you opened your heart to me, You never demanded allegiance, you earned it from me With your soothing sea breeze and mesmerizing sunrise, I cocooned into your warmth, each day grew wise You were relentless at times, with blazing sun in the sky, But you were teaching me patience, so I now know why You got back on your feet, when nature struck you hard, With magnanimity and strength, you rejoined each shard I deserved all on my plate, you only served me sweet, Your Rajini craze and Murugan Idly, no city in the world can beat Not a single day that I spent with you, do I regret I always am, and will always be glad that we met.

This is all the courage I could gather to put down the avalanche of memories and thoughts rushing to my mind at the rate of 1Gigabytes per second..This is to the place which made or unmade me...K Forever! Living in the fear of having to go separate ways brings pain All my efforts to hold back and let go have gone in vain Every passing moment brings conflict and choices One last time is all I can hear among all the voices! Lost in the sea of where to be and what to be Everything shall pass and yet I want to hold on to thee! I shall never return and this is where we part But to thee I promise, we carry a piece of each other’s heart!